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Monday, April 5, 2010

Before The Summer Starts!

It Started Here!

I need to tell this exciting thriller that happened to me last summer as it needs to be said before the new summer starts. Yes it’s a thriller all right depending on you the reader. Let me begin by starting here! I have this thing with bees; don't know why they like me, most likely I have good blood or something like that. Well I was looking outside thru the screen door and watching the birds, they are a funny bunch and I like to see what they are going to do next. All of a sudden right in my face there it was, big, black and ugly, now it wasn't all black it had brown on its body also. The only thing that separated us was the blessed screen. I moved he moved, didn't matter if I moved sideways, forwards or backwards he was there. So I shut the door and walked over to the window, yes folks the stinger face was there looking me straight in the eyes. I just couldn't believe this, what in tar-nation did I did to this big guy, yes he was big, they call them hornets and they come in all sizes. So I shut the window just in case his stinger had a saw on it and he decides he wanted in. Yes I do think on those lines, can't help it I have a large imagination.

Well I decide to go to the store and had forgotten all about my new friend (or my new foe) and was walking out the door, and then at the corner of my eye there he was all throttles go and almost in my face. I screamed and if he had a voice I am sure he screamed also, because he backed off a second enough for me to run into my car and have palpitations, yes the heart beat so darn fast it almost started the car. Folks I am not making this up, it has happened, well on with the show!
Now I did have to come back into the house after the store, so my eyes were all over and my antennas were up. I looked this way that way, up and down as fast as my eyes could move. Yes the coast was clear, I opened the car door stepped out and on my way to the door and thanked the Lord he was not blocking the entrance, yes I left my door unlocked for times such as this!. I got in safely as I also armed myself with a can spray as I walked out of the car.
Now let me tell you this went on for days, I go to the screen, he is there, I go to the window he is there, I go to my office window in the back and he is there. So either this sucker was a set of triplets or he was a magician, how in the world did he know I would be there?? Still baffles me. Well my hubby was starting to get upset with me cause he didn't believe me, I explained what the big bug was doing and he was looking at me like I needed to be put away. Now hubby re-acted that way cause this was a smart bee, yep he had brains. He didn't show up when the old man got home no he was playing hide and seek.
Well I can go on and on cause this was for almost three weeks of my being tormented by this bee. One day I was talking on the phone and looking out the screen, yes two can play the same game, I bugged him and he bugged me. He was always there right in my face with the screen between us, and no, I didn't go out for three weeks I couldn't take the rush I was getting from him. Well while I was yapping away I saw it, I saw a beehive right on my porch's lamp on the wall and a whole stinking family was moving in without even paying the rent.
When hubby came home, oh yes he did start to see him and the others but they never bothered him, I told him the good news and showed him the nest. Now the dear heart says let me fix this and you don't know my man, he has a hard time fixing things so I cried out no wait let’s make a plan first, you gotta be ready for the game. Now this is what he wanted to do, get a jar and when it was nighttime he would put the jar over the beehive, yep folks that’s what he wanted to do. I cried, I screamed, I pleaded no, no please not that! You see he is not gentle, he is clumsy and well gaudy and I knew there would be a fiasco, yep I did.

We had to go out that night and he said when we came home he would do it. We were with friends and of course I told them the plan and they looked at me and shook their heads, they know the hubby too! So they gave us a bigger jar, yes he was going to use a small jar and we went home, I didn't want to go home cause I knew what would happen. So I ran into the house and felt like locking the door on dear heart outside with the jar and getting ready to place it over the hive, yeah right! Yep he missed and the army was angry and the ole man had such strength in him as I never saw him move so fast into the house. We sprayed through the screen and hit that sucker-face bee with all this foam all over his body and he was right there attacking with the family. The saga goes on, he did not die nope he was still there waiting to get me and now my hubby.
Well yes I looked out again from my window and looked up and I saw under the eaves another hive and screamed there’s another hive. Well we have now all kinds of bug spray and it shoots 25 feet and honey-do aimed high, the hive was fully loaded and it was raining bees. But the smaller ones were dying, not king Kong, no he was still going strong until he could go no more. We had the funeral that night with both hives that were now wet and soggy stuffed into the jars and all the bees dead in the jar also. King Kong flew into where who knows, I didn't see him anymore since then. This year I am praying for no bees, and with God you generally get what you ask for, most of the time that is!

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